Grace for the Good Girl, chapters 2 and 3

I'm late writing this. This post was supposed to be last week's post. I stewed and worried about it because I committed to writing every week, and because I'm a good girl, my thoughts immediately went to, "What will they think of me if I don't post?"

Can you relate? Then you need to read this book.


These two chapters were so hard to get through for me...never before had I read a book that so deeply resonated with me. I could have written these pages. No, I don't mean with the beauty of words and fluidity of thought, but I could have told the same stories. Some almost exactly like Emily does.

One particular passage in chapter two struck me so that I sat in my car, waiting on Kiddo to finish his piano lesson, and wept. I mean sobbed. To understand why I acted in a particular situation the way I did because she wrote my story out as word for word as if she had been in college with me...at once it was painful as well as freeing.

Chapter three, again, sounded like she was retelling my story. In a sense, she was. She was saved as a young girl. My first profession of faith was at age seven. Because we were so young we didn't have any sordid pasts to repent of...our testimonies were a bit bland compared to those who had been saved from drugs or an immoral lifestyle. We were good. So, what happened after salvation?

"And so it was that I continued with my good way of life, giving myself credit for all of my own goodness. There was a sense that Jesus had something to do with it...But I didn't understand the middle-of-a-Tuesday Jesus. I only knew him as a when-I-get-to-heaven Jesus. Salvation was my ticket to heaven and not much else. "At thirteen I rededicated my life to the Lord because I was scared to death that perhaps it didn't take the first time." (Grace for the Good Girl, Revel Publishing, copyright 2011, pp 40-41)

When I was eleven I made my second profession of faith (for those uninitiated ones to the way Southern Baptists talk, that just means I walked the aisle and said I wanted to be saved) for the exact same reason Emily did...I was afraid the first one didn't take. For me, I didn't feel saved. (Side note - It wasn't until I was twenty-eight years old that I finally nailed down my salvation. I can't even tell you if I truly was saved then or when I was seven. I only know I am now.)

She then goes on in this chapter to talk about her high school experiences with boys. Familiarity here, too.

"I didn't realize it at the time, but I was a good girl desperate for male attention." (pg 43)

She isn't sure why that was, but I think I do in my situation. She had an alcoholic father that could have been her reason, but I had an absent father. He came to pick us up every so often, but to this day I don't have a close relationship with Daddy. Oh, I love him dearly, but I don't know him very well.

About the need for male attention, she says,

"We were created with a deep need for love, acceptance, worth, and security. The need is overwhelming and must be satisfied. In the same way some girls wear the mask of promiscuity to grasp for connection and acceptance, good girls can depend on their good reputation to meet their desperate need for love." (pg 43)

Her first boyfriend relationship was "good and healthy on the outside," but "began an unhealthy pattern of looking to men to affirm my identity." (pg 43) I'm not sure when mine began, but I get embarrassed now thinking about the things I did to get the attention of "good" boys. Oh, nothing "bad"...only what would have been acceptable for a good girl. Talking too much, playing with my hair, going out of my way to run into certain guys...ugh...so embarrassing. It's funny, though. I ended up marrying the one man I never chased. God has a way of letting us know we don't have to strive to end up with the best. He's got it all worked out.

I'm going to end this post here because the rest of chapter three needs its own post. I think it's something we as good girls struggle with a lot, so I want to focus on it later. Maybe next week, maybe sooner.

If you have realized you are a "good girl," I hope you buy this book. If you do purchase the book from clicking the picture at the top of the post, I receive a small percentage in commission, but that's not the only way to get it. Even if you check it out from your library, PLEASE read it.

Be a recovering good girl like me.

Grace for the Good Girl Winner!

ACK! It's Wednesday and I haven't told you who won Grace for the Good Girl OR written my post on chapter two! This stresses me out because I'm a good girl!

I'll get to chapter two eventually, but right now I need to tell you the winner of the book.

And the winner is.... April!

Thank you to those who entered. You can purchase Emily's book at Dayspring (and if you follow that link and make a purchase I make a bit off of it. Only full disclosure here, people. HA!) or Amazon.

If you're a recovering good girl, I highly recommend you buy it!

I'm a Good Girl

As soon as I started reading Grace for the Good Girl, I knew this book was for me. I didn't know, however, how close to home it would hit. Within the first chapter and a half, I had already sobbed my way through several pages. Seeing my early childhood, youth, and young adult years in black and white was startling.

I have been a good girl ever since I can remember. It started with Momma. Because I loved her so much, I never, ever, ever wanted to disappoint her. So, when I thought I understood salvation, I made a profession of faith. But because my salvation was based (subconsciously) on how good a girl I was, I constantly doubted whether I was really saved or not. I always felt like there was something more I had to do to be saved. That Jesus wouldn't like me if I hadn't said exactly the right words when I prayed to accept Him. From the time I was seven years old until I was twenty-eight, I doubted my salvation. It was only then that I nailed down my salvation and have known ever since then that it's not about being good enough...that it's about the grace that God freely gives through Jesus His Son.

Emily explains how my mind was working in the first chapter, "Are You a Good Girl in Hiding?"

"For a long time, I believed I was searching for God and thought I had found him, this God who is order and control, distant and passive. I knew he so loved the world, but I didn't know his love for me...While I thought I was searching for him, he graciously, miraculously, and intentionally found me." (Grace For the Good Girl, by Emily P. Freeman, pg 22, Copyright 2011, Revell Publishing, emphasis mine)

Does this sound like you? Do you think you're the only one that grace looks over and says, "Nope, not good enough, this one." Then I think you would benefit from this book.

I look forward to the coming chapters and will be joining in with Christina at Momma Day By Day and other good girls as we learn how to become recovering good girls.

Because I believe this book will be life-changing for so many women, I'm giving an autographed copy away. Sweet Emily signed both my copy (that was sweetly given to me by my bff Kat) and a copy they gave away at the conference.You don't have to jump through hoops to enter. Just leave me a comment saying you're a good girl and would benefit from this book. That's it. I mean, I'd be grateful if you liked my Facebook page. I'd also love it if you bought a tassel, followed me on Twitter, and subscribed to my blog. But you don't have to to enter this giveaway. hee hee.

Just as a disclosure, Revell Publishing made free copies available to any one who attended the Relevant Conference, and Emily signed them because she's just sweet like that. I didn't have to promise to do a giveaway; I didn't have to promise to do a review. I just want to give this book away. All the opinions given are mine.

I will close this giveaway next Monday, November 14th, at 11:59 p.m. and will announce the winner in next week's Good Girl post.

I'm so looking forward to this journey. And I'm also so grateful to Christina who organized all us recovering good girls to join forces! Grab a copy and join us!

Disclosure: If you click on the "Grace for the Good Girl" picture and purchase a copy, I get a small percentage of the sale.